Drake refers to us as "Fancy", Wale as "Ambitious" and Ne-Yo as "Independent". Regardless of your lyrical preference, women who aspire to be appreciated for more than just their figures are being praised and encouraged throughout more musical media. So, why is it that these powerful men still settle for the video vixens, strippers and DE-pendant women in their industry and throughout? What makes our ambition any less desirable in real life, as opposed to when it is embedded in the hook of a chart-topping single? Allow me to explain my rationale.
It is easy to SAY that a financially successful man would rather date a woman with a degree, steady income, and a closet full of clothes purchased with her very own Visa. How often does this occur though? The artists we listen to want us to believe the hype but, lets be honest. Jay-Z and Beyonce are pretty much the only noticeable "power couple" and they seem to be the last of a dying breed. Watching the MTV/BET Awards is often like a game of "spot the video chick" who brought this model or that video girl as their evening arm candy. Not to hate on these women, do your thing, but, really? One trend I've noticed is that these women, as beautiful as they are, do not hold a candle to the men they accompany with regard to the power spectrum. Ironic? I don't think so.Truth is, a man of such status prefers to "trophy" a woman with lesser power then himself. Women who contribute to the power equation don't require a man to complete them. A man to compliment is preferred over a man to supplement. The "independent woman" mind frame serves as a threat to many men who find their solutions in their bank accounts. Enitan "Bereolaesque" Bereola II said, "A rich man is used to owning things...that includes you!" Women who rely on a "sponsor" to pay bills and fill shoe racks are more likely to put up with infidelity and physical/mental abuse just to support their lifestyle. That is what makes the gold-digger so interesting to me. Why would one want to jeopardize the very essence of who we are as women (caretakers, helpers, gentle lovers) just to walk around with the latest Louis V. handbag on their wrists?
Ultimately a man's choice also boils down to convenience. We all know the saying "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" lends quite a bit of validity to the overall argument. Typically, a woman who is looking for more than a few Gucci purses wants a little thing called, commitment. We want a family. We want love, not lust wrapped in a pretty package. For the powerful, controlling man, this type of relationship isn't convenient. Hit it and quit it is no longer applicable with the women mentioned above and ultimately, who wants to buy the cow?
Put yourself in the typical musician/producer/high profile artists shoes. You are a hip-hop phenom, traveling the country 360 days out of the year. Every night, there are swarms of women at your hotel, tour bus, dressing room, etc. Cloud 9 never felt so good and a little attention from exotic women doesn't seem like a bad idea. After all, they're basically undressing themselves, and you'll never have to see them again so, why the *bleep* not? Giving in is more and more prevalent and well, if he needs a date, at least he knows she's down for whatever after the show. One thing we all can agree on, regardless of occupation, is that temptation can be a woman's most effective weapon and a man's greatest excuse. Moreover, a woman with beauty and ambition farther than her body is a perfect combination but, is she convenient? Is she practical? On his dope record, yes. In real life, not so much.
The reality (not always, but all too often) is this: Women who handle their business, without the aid of a pole or retouched bikini photo, are the same women who sleep alone. And for those women who model, act, strip, whatever with the sole intent on supporting themselves and making sure they get their money as best they can, this isn't for you because you probably don't use men as a stepping stone to stardom. But, for the women who use their assets to live a lifestyle they cannot provide themselves, the invisible handcuffs that your too blinded by bling to see, will always remain, courtesy of the man who "loves" you.