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September 15, 2010

Strictly Truth ... Oh You Fancy Huh? Pt. II.

*Chan.Lo. Note: 'Oh You Fancy Huh?' created such an interesting discussion that I thought it best to ask our own Kenny Masenda to give a male POV on the topic. Be enlightened.
P.S. If you've yet to read Elena P.'s original article, click HERE
Peace. Love. Truth.
Recently, I read Elena’s piece “Oh, You Fancy, Huh?” and was given the task of coming up with a response to her words. Honestly, I’ve read her post countless times, all with the intention of coming up with the most carefully-crafted response to her question that was initially posed to the masses, which was:

So, why is it that these powerful men still settle for the video vixens, strippers and DE-pendant women in their industry and throughout? What makes our ambition any less desirable in real life, as opposed to when it is embedded in the hook of a chart-topping single?

At one time, in times when I honestly thought I knew more than what I actually did, a response could have been crafted that could spark a firestorm, an uprising, or anything else that would have constituted excitement, enthusiasm, or maybe even just messy. These days, life has slowed things down for me, and with that, when I read this question, the same answer came back to me over and over again: these “powerful” men in question are more than willing to look for convenience rather than the women they praise in song and verse. Allow me to elaborate.

While I do this, keep in mind this is merely my opinion, and one that certainly will not resonate within all men, or even a majority of men. These “powerful” men realize what it takes to have a woman who they hold in high esteem, and while I don’t question the sincerity in their words, it does serve as a head-scratcher when certain women see these same men with women who are the opposite of what they sing, rap, and harmonize about. At the same time, this is something that any independent woman, in my opinion, really shouldn’t worry about too much. Your ambition is just as desirable in real life as in song, and, if anything, “powerful” men know they can’t just walk up on you, flash some money, their car, or any other tangible object, and expect you to bite.

They know in order to get you, they have to come with their A-game. They have to be attentive, show interest, be creative, be consistent, and work. When you see a “powerful” man out and about with a woman who is the opposite, it’s usually at some social event (awards shows, sports events, etc), and they would rather be seen with a female they don’t have to work hard to get, but looks the part, as opposed to the female they have to work their butt off for, but STILL looks the part. It’s not a knock on independent women at all, and, if anything, it saves you plenty of heartache, headache, angry Facebook messages, scorned tweets, rants, and anything else that’s counter-productive to your well-being.

There may be a fear from women who “have their own” being the same ones “who sleep alone,” but they are also the same ones who are held, at least in my eyes and others who feel similar, as the epitome of a woman, a queen, and someone who is more than ideal for a man to settle down with, once a man decides to settle down for good. That’s why as long as a woman continues to handle her business, she shouldn’t be concerned about what any man has to say about her, or when “powerful” men are choosing M&Ms over an Everlasting Gobstopper. When you see these cats out on the red carpet with a female who chose a different grind to the top, smile at them, and continue to do you, and realize that your path is a path that’s unique, and void of any man’s assistance except God’s.

-K. Masenda

Follow Kenny on Twitter @SoulOnIce6

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